


disastrous cookin’

by milkyfeifei



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Gordon Ramsay wouldn’t approve, M/M, chef heechul, comforting boyfriend Kyunghoon, emotional heechul, heechul can’t cook for shit lmao, satanic onion cutting ritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkyfeifei/pseuds/milkyfeifei
Summary: Heechul decided to surprise Kyunghoon with something nice for a change, but things don’t always go as planned.





	disastrous cookin’

Heechul stared down at the cookbook in front of him, eyebrow raised, trying to understand the words on the page. 

“Chop onions...Sauté until golden brown...what the fuck does sauté even mean…?” He asked himself, looking at the onion in his hand. He simply shrugged, setting the onion down onto the cutting board in front of him. 

Grabbing one of Kyunghoon’s expensive cooking knives, he lines up the blade with the onion, and pressed down. Perhaps too quickly, as the vegetable went flying across the kitchen, landing with loud thud onto the floor, which made his pets go haywire. Especially his puppy, Bok, who had started barking. 

Here we go.

Heechul sighed, walking over to the onion, and picks it up. “This is just the start, Heechul, stay calm.” He told himself, as sort of a prep talk. He goes back into the kitchen, setting the vegetable back onto the cutting board. And with the second try, he finally cuts into it. Being as quick as he could, he chops it to the best of his ability, being interrupted several times with the sensation of tears. 

Once the satanic onion cutting ritual was out of the way, he rummaged through the cabinets to find a sauté pan. Not knowing what the fuck he was actually looking for, he opted for a fairly large multipurpose pan, slamming it down onto the stove. 

“Add oil to pan. Got it.” He grabbed the bottle of olive oil that was sitting next to the stove, flicking the cork off with ease. As he was pouring it, he turned the bottle a tad too much, half of the bottle of oil now in the pan. 

“Fuck.” He cursed silently, opening one of the drawers, rummaging through it until he found the item in question, a funnel.

He successfully poured the oil back into the bottle, leaving a little bit so that he could still cook the onions. He turned the stove on high, his hand hovering over the pan so he could keep a track on the temperature. Little did he know, the oil soon started pop, some landing onto his delicate skin. 

“God fucking dammit!” He cursed once again, sucking on his finger to help soothe the burning sensation. He continued to whine softly, quickly wrapping a bandage around his slightly blistered finger so he could finish. 

After the third incident, things seemed to slow down a bit. He sautéed the onions, following the directions as the recipe described. They came out a tad bit burnt, but he really didn’t give a single fuck at that moment. He set the onions to the side for later, and focused his attention to the package of steaks that was sitting on the counter. 

The true fun was about to begin.

Heechul grabbed it, and using the same knife from earlier, he stabbed into the plastic. He ended up stabbing it too much though, as he accidentally slit the styrofoam part, both of the steaks landing onto the tile floor. They both landed with a smack onto the floor, making Heechul snort. 

In his dirty mind, it sounded like something else, but that’s for another time. 

Maybe later on tonight though. 

He picked up the pieces of meat, taking them to the sink to quickly rinse them off. He took them back to the counter, placing them into the bowl in front of him. 

“Okay….salt, pepper…” He slowly read from the page, adding all of the ingredients one by one, not even measuring them out because he wanted to get this over with as soon as he could. 

No wonder why he let Hoonie do all of the cooking. The shit was stressful, as well as time consuming. But it was all worth it, as Kyunghoon knew what he was doing when it came down to cooking. 

Heechul massaged the seasonings into the steaks, having a bit too much fun with them. It reminded him of the massages Kyunghoon gives him after long days of recording and what not, and it almost always led to se-

Anyways…

After daydreaming for those several seconds, Heechul gently placed the meat into the pan side by side, then dumped the onions on the sides. He turned the stove onto high, and let it cook down for the exact time the recipe told him to. In the meantime, he was measuring out the red wine, which was supposed to help with the flavor he assumed. 

Heechul really didn’t know. He just wanted to get a little fancy for his boo-thang, and wine screams automatic class, so yeah. 

He hummed to himself as the smell of steak filled his kitchen, basically telling him that he was doing at least something right. Getting excited, he grabbed the cup that contained the wine, and slowly poured it into the pan, using a nearby utensil to give it a little stir. Covering it with the lid, he went to go sit in the living room so the food could do its thing. However, he forgot to do the most major step. 

He forgot to turn the heat down to simmer. It still remained on high, the wine in the pot starting to bubble, some of the liquid drilling down the sides, falling into the flame of the stove. 

Soon, the pan was engulfed in flames, smoke rising to the ceiling. It wasn’t until the fire alarm started beeping that Heechul noticed something was wrong, very wrong. 

“Oh fucking hell! Fuck!” He screamed loudly, flinging himself off of the couch to run into the kitchen. He forced open each and every cabinet, searching for the fire extinguisher before it became too late.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally found it. Pulling the pin, he aimed the nozzle at the fire, and squeezed the handle, his stove being covered with the white foam. 

Heechul breathed a sigh of relief once the fire was out. He stood there for several moments, his mind trying to process what the fuck actually happened, and once he did, he felt tears burning at his eyes. 

He set the empty fire extinguisher onto the ground, before sliding down onto the ground, hiding his face in his hands, the sound of sobs filing the now quiet apartment. 

He failed, and all he wanted to do was have a nice evening with his boyfriend. 

Everything was ruined.

***

A very tired Kyunghoon walked into the apartment, the lingering smell of smoke and burnt meat making him jump instantly. 

“What the hell...Heechul?” He called out, worried that Heechul may have gotten hurt. He threw his bags onto the ground by the front door, walking further inside of the place. His first stop was the kitchen, as that was where the smell was coming from. 

He was met with a complete disaster. The kitchen was in complete disarray, onion peelings and empty packaged strewn all over the floor. His eyes then went down to the fire extinguisher, then over to the stove. Thank goodness the pan was fine, however, whatever it contained was completely black and charred. 

Kyunghoon sighed to himself. He was happy he could at least save the pan, but he knew for fact that it would be a pain in the ass to to scrape out the burnt whatever-the-fuck that was inside of it. 

“Heechul?” Kyunghoon called out again, walking out of the kitchen and down the hallway. He noticed that the door to their shared bedroom was shut and and when he checked, locked. Which was strange, because Heechul always kept open, unless the other was in a bad mood. He knocked on the door, pressing his ear to it so he could hear what was going on. Standing there waiting in silence, he heard Heechul sobbing on the other end. 

So, without waiting, he grabbed out his wallet and pulled out his bank card, using it to open the door, walking into the bedroom. And there, he saw Heechul laying down on the bed, crying softly, his face buried into one of the pillows.

“Chullie...what’s wrong?” He asked, sitting down next to Heechul, rubbing his back hoping that would help calm him down a little. 

“I-I tried cooking for you and it didn’t work, obviously.” he replied back quickly, sitting up so he could wipe his face on the sleeve of his jacket, burying himself back into the pillow. “I can never do anything right..” 

“Yah, don’t say that.” Kyunghoon sighed, running one of his hands through Heechul’s soft locks, another tactic that always seems to calm him down. “It’s the thought that counts.”

“H-hoonie, I literally fucked up the kitchen. It took me 3 tries to cut an onion, the b-bitch ended up  
making me cry. Then I burnt my finger with f-fucking hot oil.” He sits up again, so he could take the bandage off of his thumb, showing off the small blister that had started to appear. “I j-just wanted to change things up a little bit by doing something special and I-I fucked it up. Y-you always cook and-“ 

“Heechul, hush it.” Kyunghoon takes Heechul’s hand, bringing it to his lips so he could shower it in kisses, giving his burned thumb extra tender loving care. “Thank you for trying to make it. But honestly, you didn’t have to do something so fancy for me. Literally, you could’ve made me a bowl of cereal and I still would’ve been happy.” 

Heechul sighs, as Kyunghoon’s comment would have been nice to hear a few hours earlier. “But what about the kitchen…?” 

“We can clean the kitchen later.” Kyunghoon says as he pulled out his cell phone, loading the list of restaurant numbers that he kept handy. “What are you wanting to eat?”

“Ramen…the large bowl.” Heechul answered quickly, not even taking a moment to rethink.

Kyunghoon chuckled, pulling Heechul into a tight loving hug, pressing a brief kiss onto his lips. “Ramen it is then.”


End file.
